IFS (Internal Family Systems)

Nothing changes by wishing.

“I wish I could stop shaming myself so much.”

“I keep telling myself not to worry, but I can’t calm down.”

“I couldn’t help myself. I just had to eat it.”

What’s going on?

Why is it that we can want to act one way but then do the complete opposite? Why is it that we still fear failing, even after we’ve proven ourselves? And why does impulsiveness sabotage our plans to succeed?

It’s almost as if there are different voices in our heads with their own opinions and ideas about what they want. Just like a real family, they don’t always agree.

Some of the voices rant. Others cringe at authority, making you doubt yourself. Many voices fear what might happen if they don’t get their way. It’s hard to move forward with so many conflicting messages.

This is the human condition. We want to change, but we fear change. We desire peace, but we’re more comfortable in chaos as if it’s the only life we’ve known. We long to be loved, but we don’t trust others’ motives.

All day, every day, we feel multiple ways about the same thing.

No, you’re not losing your mind.

When an “inner critic” reminds you that you’re never good enough, or an inner “slave driver” keeps telling you all the things you need to get done, you’re normal.

With the Internal Family System’s Model, you learn to identify your thoughts and feelings and get to know them as parts of your subconscious.

They’re the key to why you sometimes react the way you do and why it’s so hard to change.

Inner thoughts and feelings are personified as ‘Parts.’

Most of these parts carry extreme beliefs and emotions.

“I might as well give up,” says a hopeless part.

“I’ll never feel loved” or “I’m not good enough,” says a worthless part.

It takes a lot of emotional energy to keep a lid on such strong opinions – to ignore or deny them.

The problem is, we can’t outrun ourselves.

IFS has a fundamental spiritual orientation.

But you can develop a way of relating to these parts with compassion to understand and provide them with the leadership they need.

You already have that ability; you just need to learn how to recognize and access it. That’s because of your real identity, the truest part of you resonates with the image of God stamped into your very being.

By virtue of your creator, you were given essential leadership qualities. They’re hardwired into your DNA.

It may be that the Divine impression got buried in you by childhood trauma. That divine energy may seem so far removed that you wonder if you ever had it. But you do.

Deeper than anything that’s broken or wrong with you, something is very right.

Try this.

For a second, consider what it would be like if you knew with confidence that your most repulsive or disdainful thoughts or feelings were coming from little parts of you rather than from the essence of your identity.

What if you believed that identity was connected to a greater source (like the great, “I am”)?

And what if living from that source, brought you hope, healing, and joy?

It’s not theology, but it’s close.

IFS was not developed from a Christian mindset, but I’ve found that it relies on a life-giving relationship with the Divine, God.

Because our ultimate, primary attachment is not with our parents, partner, or even our Self but with the Spirit of God. That alone heals and gives each part of us what it needs.

We develop a happy, healthy relationship with ourselves when we access our relationship with God, who holds all our parts in his loving embrace and teaches us to do the same.

It’s time to change that inner critic.

No more wishing! Let IFS help you find your true Self, as you access God’s power to bring you peace.

Call (630) 999-8151 today. I welcome hearing from you.